Author: Jhong Ren
Before you hear your own wedding bells ring, have you heard of pre-marital counselling or course?
There are plenty of such courses out there, be it in churches, family service centres or places of religions.
Couples pay quite alot to join these courses and at the end of the day, some find such courses a waste of time.
My friend took part in the course with her husband-to-be at that point in time. Her conclusion…? was that she could have better spent the time at the beach.
In fact, many aspects of maintaining a good relationship can be learnt from planning your wedding.
For instance, when it comes to budgeting, many couples find it really hard to discuss ad come to a common understanding. They have difficulty agreeing what to spend and how much to spend.
Other instances such as understanding the value and belief of your spouse-to-be. For example, the bride may feel that she needs to get the best gown and the most expensive bridal package.
The groom on the other hand may feel that they should get what they can afford.
More challenges await them when they meet the parents.
Family beliefs and power struggle are other aspects to take note.
Family beliefs such as traditional beliefs and practices at home have to be discussed.
For example, the bride’s family may have complicated wedding custom that has to be followed. However, the groom’s family is not particular over such traditions. Complications may arise from such situation of whose practices to follow.
Power struggle may arise when other family members or even relatives want to play a part in giving feedback or “helping” out at the wedding.
For example. I have this friend whose mom allowed her daughter to plan her own wedding. However, the aunties came along to give unnecessary remarks thinking that they are helpful. They didn’t know that the concerns became stressors for the bride.
Such difficulties that the bride or groom go through alone could be very good opportunity for the newly-wed to come to consensus how do they want to support each other.
These are times to understand expectations, values and beliefs of their partners as well as their families.
Wedding isn’t easy. It is not just the marriage of two people, but the marriage of two families.
To go for marriage preparation course, it is completely your decision whether or not to undergo before you get married.
Remember, going for such courses doesn’t guarantee that your wedding will be quarrel or conflict-free. It could be a good starter to look at your relationship from another angle.
Remember, maintaining a relationship will last you a lifetime.